• Michelle Lowe-Sterba

Mom's "Curse"

I remember growing up my mother had these one liners that would always make me roll my eyes and thing "yeah right mother". She would say things like "I am going to smack you into next week.", or "Don't sit so close to the TV you will ruin your eyes." I mean the list goes on. My mom was a rough one. She would yell these one liners at us all the time. But there is one that she said more like a curse. "I hope when you grow up you get a daughter just like you." I remember saying back to her "Yeah and she will be amazing." Well, she got her curse/wish granted. But I was right, she is amazing.

It was a fight for me to have babies. Probably because I jinxed myself always saying I never wanted kids. I always wanted them, but somewhere deep inside of me I thought I wouldn't get to. Maybe I manifested the struggle. Because to my knowledge, no one on either side of my family had the struggles I did to have a baby. I mean, I had no trouble getting pregnant. My struggles were with staying pregnant. Maybe that is the foreshadowing the fact that I was about to get a little girl just like me. Stubborn and a fighter.

I was 31 when I had my girl. She was an easy pregnancy. Well, relatively speaking anyway. I fell down a hill while pregnant, which now gets me blamed for Lu's clumsiness. I craved milk. I drank nearly a gallon of the nasty stuff a day. I also craved Tuna casserole. I know...weird. I had constant pain starting at about 5 months until I had her. She was the first 3D ultrasound performed at my doctors office. That was super cool. She moved around only when I wanted to sleep. Always had the hiccups in there at night as well. I worked full time right up until the day I went to an appointment and the midwife said, you need a C-section tomorrow. Talk about going into a tail spin. Up to that point I was all go for having a baby the old fashion way (with drugs of course). But she measured so big they thought I was giving birth to a 13 pound linebacker. So I had a C-section and gave birth to the most beautiful 8 pound little girl I had ever seen in my life. A full head of beautiful hair (at least the heartburn wasn't for nothing). She was just beautiful. FYI...she still is. I was so proud ( I still am). I felt complete.

"I hope you have a girl just like you." That rings in my ears. Because, I did. Just like me. In every way. She looks like me. She is stubborn like me. She does not take no for an answer. She has a potty mouth (sorry, I am a bad mom I guess) and sassiness for days. I made it my mission to raise a young lady who had a mind of her own. Doesn't roll over to do what ever people tell her she has to. Will never let anyone snuff out her fire. Because believe me when I tell you, my Lu can breath fire!!

But she has so many other great things about her. Even though she is on fire, she is sensitive. She is kind. She is so smart, but does not give her self credit for it (we are working on that). She is creative and a huge animal lover. I could go on but I would just be stoking my ego on what a wonderful human I created! :) Because she is a wonderfully flawed, fire breathing, stunningly beautiful, sensitive, unsharpened human.

She tests my patience everyday. She drive me absolutely CRAZY! But, you know what, I wouldn't want it any other way. I might say I would. Because believe me when I tell you we butt heads, but I wouldn't change a thing. I always choose my battles carefully. Her dad and her step dad choose them all with her. She wins with them a lot. Usually that is my fault for stepping in and maybe I shouldn't. But she has to know she can stand up and have a voice. She doesn't just sit back and take anything. Sometimes she gets a little out of hand and disrespectful. But she is learning. And when she is done, she will leave soot in her path behind her.

Raising a teenager is hard!! I mean...holy shit! I whisper to my self, I don't even know how many times a day "what the actual f#&k!" Where do they come up with this crap. I wish social media didn't exist for them. (I thank my lucky stars it didn't when I was her age) It is the root of most teenage evil. Kids are mean. Assholes really. And I am sure mine is a part of that. She better hope I never find out she is. She hates it when I get involved. She asks me all the time, "why can't you just listen and not try to fix everything." Because I am a mama bear Lu. That is why. Someday you will understand. Because I hope you have a daughter JUST LIKE YOU! :)

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