• Michelle Lowe-Sterba

I See Color

I feel like it took me 46 years to figure out what I wish I had done with my life. It is a bit too late now. I should have been an advocate. I am passionate about many various causes. I read a story today that made me cry. My heart hurt for this black man. I read these stories everyday. I am shocked at the people I thought I knew that make excuses for the violence against blacks. Who make excuses for people being in cages and separated from their children. Who make excuses for the pedofiles in their circle. Who make excuses for the man that is leading this country with hatred, misogyny, racism, homophobia and a blatant disregard for science. Some of those are posts for a different day. Because today Black Lives is on my heart.

I feel like I need to start with a little clarification. I KNOW there are more good cops than bad. I KNOW their job is one of the hardest jobs. I KNOW they put their lives on the line every single day and I am greatful. However, we need them to work harder. Work harder on how they see people and work harder to understand their unconscious bias or implicit bias. Work harder to understand what unconscious bias even is. Just work harder to see and understand. And unfortunately, they have to work harder to make up for the bad cops too. I am sorry for that, but they do.

To be honest, I think we all need to work harder to see and understand our bias. I think a lot of people do not even realize they are saying things that are racist. Even with good intentions, the things you say as a rebuttal, are racist. As white humans, who want to be decent humans, you have to fully educate yourself and never stop learning. When you stop learning you will spiral back down a rabbit hole of racism. As white humans we can live in denial of the privilege we have just because we are white. You can deny it but we it is real. I am NOT saying we do not have struggle. Most of us do. But the struggle we have is not becasuse of the color of our skin. And if you are a white man, your privilege is even more. You can deny it. It doesn't change the facts.

I am going to focus on one phrase that needs to stop being said. "I don't see color." By saying that that you are minimizing the struggle that people of color continue to go through. It allows you to ignore how complicated racial issues are. You can not help fix something you are denying you can see. You are actively dismanteling your own prejudices.....because we all have them conscious or unconsciously. WE ALL HAVE THEM.

I do not want to be color blind. I want to see their color and understand their struggle. I want to work on myself every single day to flush out my own bias. I will call out the people I see and hear every single day that are in denial of their racism and bias or just don't care. I want to teach my children and help them understand their own bias. I want to help people of color. I just want to help. I will continute to post on my social media. Here on my blog. I will protest and call out what I see. Quite frankly, I do not care if people do not like me for it. "de-friend" me for it or even cut me out of their life for it. I will never apologize for it and I won't stop doing it. And if that make people walk away, so be it. Because their is a good chance I will walk away from some too.

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